Rough Night

So on Saturday Emily and I got into a pretty decent argument, one that could have been totally avoided if we had just told each other what was on our minds in the first place. Right from the start of the day something felt wrong, Emily was picking at me for every little thing I did wrong, things that normally would never bother her. So I didn't pay too much attention to these things at the time because I thought there was no reason for Emily to be angry with me. For most of the day I was being ignored and only talked to if it was to tell me to quit being annoying. I was being a shit disturber only because I thought it was ridiculous that we were bickering over nothing at this point, I thought it was funny really.

The thing that I didn't know was that Emily was in a bit of an edgy mood for a reason that had nothing to do with me. So instead of doing the right thing and asking her what was up, I ignored her for the rest of the day because it was bothering me that we were bickering over nothing. My friends came over later on and we were having a few drinks before going out for the night. I had asked Emily a few times if she was going to come out with us or not but the answer was always 'I don't know.' So when the time came to leave, Emily decided she was going to come. I dropped my friends off first and then drove to Emily's house because she had to pick up a change of shoes. We started bickering at each other even before we got to her house and Emily just said to me she wanted to come out and have a fun night. My patience had gotten really low at this point because Emily was ignoring me all day but now wanted to come out with me to have a fun night. I told her to go ahead and come hang out at the party but I wasn't going to be all warm and cuddly now that we were with a bunch of people and pretend she wasn't ignoring me all day. This sparked the arguing in her driveway which led to me saying I wanted to just hang out with my friends tonight without her. After some yelling towards each other I left to the party without Emily.

I didn't even really drink at the party when I got there, I just relaxed and talked with friends. It is kind of hard to enjoy a night out right after getting in a fight with your girlfriend. I came home later that night and pretty much fell asleep right away. A friend stayed over for the night and we hung out for most of the next day. We just spent the day playing video games, watching T.V. and making food. Emily had wanted me to drop off a bunch of her shower stuff and some clothes that she wanted, which I said I was going to bring but it wasn't until late that my friend left. Emily also wanted to take a walk and talk about the night before but I didn't know this so I was in no rush to drive to her house to drop off some of her stuff.

When I did eventually come to her house that night, we talked about what happened a little bit and she gave me a little letter she wrote the night before. It's a great way to tell someone your feelings at the time and without forgetting anything. Emily apologized to me which I thought wasn't even necessary, it was me who owed the apology. Everything is fine now, but this just goes to show everyone, communication is a big deal. If Emily had told me that something was bothering her that day, or if I had not tried to be so annoying before and sat down and talked with her, this would never have happened.

A-Grade Fight

Brad and I got into a huge fight last night, or one of our A-Grade fights as he calls them. We've only had a few, I think I can count four now. This recent fight began yesterday morning when I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Some things were already bothering me and I neglected to share them with Brad. These things had nothing to do with him, but I ended up taking them out on him, claiming it was about his playing Xbox and ignoring the dishes and laundry. For the rest of the day we ignored each other. By the time his friends came over for pre-drinks, they could tell we were in a fight. With about ten minutes on the clock before we were leaving for a friend's welcome home party, the stubborn me still hadn't made up her mind whether or not to go.

Once we dropped his friends off at the party and he started to take me home, that's when the real fun began. All I wanted was to finally call a truce and forget the whole day had happened, but Brad wanted no part of that. He was so mad that I was just giving it all up after ignoring him the entire day. I don't really blame him but he took it so far, I found myself sobbing and yelling like I usually do when we fight. That's how our fights always are; high on adrenalin and very low on respect or thinking before we speak.

I figured every couple goes through these nights once in awhile, it happens. I ended up being the first to call this morning, twice. Finally, about an hour later he picked up the third time to tell me he was playing video games with his friend. He said he'd bring me my stuff from his house around 4, but then called me to say they were still hanging out. He asked if I was mad, but I'm not, I said I just feel like we both owe each other an apology. I owe him one for starting it yesterday, and he owes me one for taking it too far last night. He disagreed, told me that only he owed me one. That's great and all, but don't tell me over the phone. Come over and talk to me about everything, PLEASE. So now we've settled for seven, which means it should still be sunny and warm enough for a walk and talk, hopefully.

But guys, seriously, if you really care about a girl then call her first the next morning when you know you did wrong, and make it a priority to talk to her. And, why am I here writing about this while he gets to hang out with his buddies and forget about it? Actions speak louder than words.

Disappearing Act

Reading Brad's post, "My London Surprise", made me reevaluate our sex life. When was the last time we slept together 3 times in less than 24 hours? Where was the craziest place we've done it? We used to do silly things like roadies or naked pictures just for fun. We had sex in the ocean just to say we did it. We had sex in my living room with the blinds and windows open for anybody to catch us. I can't remember a time recently when we've surprised each other by doing something crazy together.

Not even necessarily crazy... Like a couple nights ago for instance, we had 20 minutes before our friends we're coming over to meet us before going out for dinner and drinks. I teased Brad like I usually do but when he proposed we go upstairs for a quickie, I refused. I had just done my make-up and it took me 10 minutes to get my stupid shirt on with all of the buttons. Brad pouted for the rest of the 20 minutes still trying to convince me with 3 minutes to go.

I really don't want our sex life to be old, tired, or boring. I mean, it hardly is yet. When we do have sex, probably 3 times a week, it's amazing. I don't really care how cliche that sounds. It's loud, fast, rarely romantic with candles. But we always end up on his bed, tangled up in his sheets, cuddling for a few minutes afterwards before we hop up and throw our clothes back on. I want to be able to take more chances with our sex life like we used to. This is a new resolution for me. Well, for us, but I'm sure Brad will quickly agree.

Small Update

It has been a little while since I last wrote in our Blog and Emily has been kicking my ass trying to get me to update it. Not much is new with me lately, work is still really slow since there is no snow anymore and summer season hasn't started yet, so Emily and I have been going to the gym almost every day since we have the time to do so. We have been going pretty steady for almost two months now and I can already feel a difference. I have always been an athletic person playing all kinds of sports and I even got my black belt in martial arts, an achievement I'm going to be proud of for the rest of my life. Martial arts is something I have been wanting to get back into, maybe when I start working again and have the money to do it I will. For now though, the gym has been slowly pulling me into the best shape of my life which is a great feeling.

Emily and I are also doing great and have been spending most of our time together. She mostly stays at my house since we have it to ourselves pretty much. Emily is still looking for a job so I got her an interview at my work today for a job doing some outside gardening in the summer time. Still no change as far as school for me in the fall, still haven't applied yet since I have no idea as to what I want to go for. My parents are coming home in a couple weeks though which is something I am looking forward to, feels like I haven't seen them in a long time.

I'll be writing a longer post once I have something on my mind I want to say. Going to go see what Emily is up to and head out to the gym after her interview.

Quickie

Sorry, it's been a few days since a post or update. I have been living at Brad's house for a week now while his parents are in Florida for the winter. I stopped by my house a couple times to grab extra clothes, documents I needed from my home computer, and to check my messages, but that's about it. Brad just lives outside of town, about fifteen minutes away from my house. I live with my mom and younger sister in a smaller house. It's not bad, but there is way more property here, we can take the dogs on walks, there's a hot tub, and of course no parents. He has one older brother whose home. Still, I'm surprised I haven't gone home just for a couple nights. Usually I find myself wanting some space after a few days here, but Brad and I have been getting along really well this week with the occassional bickering over nothing.

Here's a typical day for us: Wake up around 10am. He feeds the dogs. I do laundry or clean the dishes. We have breakfast together then hit the gym before it gets busy. We usually do some grocery shopping while were in town. He hates it because I'm the slowest person to shop with since I'm such a "health freak" as he likes to call it. Half the cart ends up being fruits and vegetables. The other half consists of Hungry Man dinners, Beef Jerky, and M&Ms. When we get back to his place, I shower and get all ready for the evening. He plays video games a lot now that he has the Xbox hooked up to the big screen. Last night we had my best friend and her boyfriend over and watched movies. Tonight Brad's having a bunch of guys over for UFC night. Sometimes their girlfriends come over too.

He hasn't worked much since there has been no snow. He does landscaping in the summer and snow removal in the winter. He's pretty sure he's got me in for gardening this summer with the company he works for. We wouldn't be working together, and it pays pretty well. It doesn't start for another three weeks though.

Keep you posted.

Miss Independent

Lately, I have been thinking about young women my age who have been in close relationships like I have for a couple of years, and whether or not it's healthy for our growing independence.

I was talking to couple of guy friends the other day who complained that they never got to see their buddy without his girlfriend attached to his hip. I countered that Brad and I probably came off the same way, and we joked around a bit, but I couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable after that.

I thought this girl was a pretty cool chick, so do all guys really get bothered by this? These were guys in relationships of their own, so it wasn't like they were jealous. I just figured that when a couple has mutual friends that it was okay to hang out together with them often, but maybe that's not the truth.

I have very few girlfriends of my own. I have one friend who is practically engaged, and another living in the city with her son. Any others I would consider acquaintances. I have some old work friends, but they're mainly guys, and Brad sometimes gets upset when I hang out with them on my own with no girls in sight. Understandable. They haven't been long-term friends that he knows well and can trust. But, when I do go my own way, even if it's just a visit to my friend's son or a weekend away with my family, I do feel more independent and have the opportunity to experience things without my boyfriend at my side.

Don't get me wrong, I love experiencing things with him. We always have fun together. I would consider him my best friend, but is it healthy when you're spending every waking moment with that person in private and then out socially? It makes me wonder if we would be okay if something happened to us. If we were to break up, what are we sacrificing? Mutual friendships, each other's families, long-term plans we had together, gym buddies, possibly a job if I end up working with Brad landscaping this summer, this blog...

The list goes on and on, as though every aspect of our lives include each other. So, would we be okay starting over?

We're so incredibly young, and people reinvent themselves several times in their own lifetime, so I'm sure we would eventually, but it would take a lot of time to gain that independence back.

Perhaps being a little less serious is healthier for women my age; Keeping our options wide open and figuring out who we are on our own without someone else there constantly shaping us. It doesn't require us to fall less in love or fully give up our boyfriends. Have at least one or two aspects of your life away from each other, like work or school or groups of friends.

There's more respect involved when two people have their own lives and their own thing. You have time to miss each other and share stories. It's just something to think about.

Feeling Grateful

Just finished a whirlwind of a clean-up at Brad's house after a whirlwind of a weekend.

Friday night, we celebrated a friend's birthday by going to Niagra Falls. The hotel was so cheap! We stayed with two others, so it was 20 dollars each. The food is where they get you. We went to TGI Friday's for dinner and my salad cost 18 dollars! After dinner the four of us made our way to Fallsview casino and lost all of our money within an hour. We also lost our two friends so we took advantage of the empty hotel room for awhile before heading back out to find them. We all ended up back at the casino for breakfast at 5am before ever falling asleep. All in all, a good night. Brad paid for my entire weekend because I am so incredibly broke.

That's why I've just done laundry, dishes, recycling, garbage, floors, counters, and fed the puppies! He's still fast asleep because there was a second party here at his house last night (all the more to clean) and he got just a little drunk! Anyways, I hope he appreciates it and knows I appreciate him.